I'm ignoring you!

Beckett came up to me and said,  "Mom, Spencer is in the bedroom.  He won't let me in there with him and he won't come out."

I replied, "You should just ignore him.  He'll get bored and come out to see what you're doing."

Beckett said, "Okay!"

Then, he walks over to the bedroom door, lays down on the floor, and yells through the crack at the bottom, "I'm ignoring you!  Spencer!  I'm ignoring you!!"

God

At church on Sunday, the prayers were getting a little long and Beckett was getting wiggly on my lap, so I whispered in his ear, "Prayers are when we talk to God.  Do you have anything you want to say to God right now?"  He glanced around the room, leaned right up to my face with his eyes as big as saucers, and whispered, "Where is he sitting?!"

Chicken

Beckett:  Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me:  To get to the other side?
Beckett:  No.  Because he needed the freaking exercise!

The trash man

Beckett and I were walking up the street when the garbage man stopped and picked up the garbage that was on the curb.  We stopped so that Beckett could see how the garbage truck crushes the garbage.  Then, we continued walking.  About half a block away, Beckett stopped and said, "You know that garbage truck guy that we just saw?"  I said, "Yeah?"  He said, "He's a good man!"

Good bye!

Saying goodbye in the morning has turned into a 10 minute production with Beckett.  It goes something like this:

Me:  Okay, I have to go now.  I'll see you guys later.  Have a good day! 
Beckett:  Love you, bye, mommy. 
Me:  Love you, bye!
Beckett:  And, have a good day!
Me:  Okay, I will buddy!
Beckett:  And, don't forget to teach your third graders today!
Me:  Okay, I won't!  See you later!  *walks outside*
Beckett:  *opens front door and yells* But, Mommy, don't forget to drive the cool new car because it's yours!
Me:  I won't!  Bye, buddy!
Beckett:  And, Mommy, if you are thirsty, have a drink of water!
Me:  Okay, Beckett.  I have to go now.
Beckett:  Okay, bye!  *waves hand frantically*
Me:  *waves back and hops in car as fast as possible so that he doesn't say anything else*

Like Father Like Son

I was making PB&J's for the boys.  Beckett got out the grape jelly, but Spencer wanted strawberry.  So, I told him to go get it.  He went to the fridge, but came back and said there wasn't any strawberry jelly in there.  I asked, "Did you look for real or did you just look like your dad does?"

He said, "What?"

I said, "Your dad 'looks' in the fridge by opening the door, but if the item isn't right there in front for him to see, he stops looking and insists we are 'out' of whatever he's looking for.  So, did you really look or just look like your dad?" 

Spencer said, "Uhhh...", went back to the fridge, and found the strawberry jelly behind a few other things.