Best Christmas Quote of 2011

Spencer (after watching Todd open a pair of pajamas):  "Wow!  Now Daddy can wear PAJAMAS to bed!  Usually he just wears his UNDERWEAR!!"

Special Dreams

The boys got Christmas cards today that say, "...and may your special dreams come true!"  I read it out loud and Beckett said, "My special dream is for a talking dog, like Martha Speaks!"

Sorry, buddy, but that special dream probably isn't coming true...

Beckett just handed me a tube of go-gurt and said, "Can the grown-up girl in this family please open this for me?!"

Breakfast

This morning, Beckett was hiding something behind his back and has s smudge of chocolate on his face.  So, I asked, "Beckett?  Did you eat a piece of candy?!  We do not eat candy for breakfast!"  He replied, "Mom, it wasn't for breakfast.  It was just for FUN."

Beckett:  ♪ We wish you a merry Christmas!  We wish you a merry Christmas!  We wish you a merry Christmas-- and a happy HALLOWEEN!!  ♫

Turkey

"Are you going to eat a lot of turkey tomorrow?"

Spencer:  I am going to eat turkey tomorrow, but I don't know if I'll eat a lot.  I don't know how hungry I'll be yet.

Skeletons

Beckett:  People are really just skeletons with skin on top. 

Foss

Beckett:  What does "foss" mean?
Me:  I don't know what you mean.  Can you use it in a sentence?
Beckett:  What dos "FOSS" mean?!
Me:  Beckett, I need you to say it in a sentence so I can figure it out.
Beckett:  Mommy!  "What does 'foss' mean?" IS a sentence.

Touche, Beckett.  Touche.

Just a trick?

I was lying in bed with Beckett, trying to get him to go to sleep.  I said, "Beckett, I need to go down and switch the laundry.  I will come back in a little bit."  He said, "Mommy?  Are you going to trick me when you say you are coming back?"

Invisible Ramp

From upstairs, I hear a thud and then crying.  Beckett told me that he had fallen onto the Lego bucket.  I said, "Beckett, your bed is way over there and the Lego bucket is way over here.  If you had been in your bed, you wouldn't have gotten hurt."  Spencer then pipes up from his bed and says, "Well, actually, Beckett built an invisible ramp and rolled down the ramp onto the Lego bucket."

Yeah, I'm sure that's what happened.

Tricked ya!

Beckett *walking down the stairs, supposed to be in bed*:  Mommy!  I have something very, very important to tell you!
Me:  What is it?
Beckett:  Remember in the Transformer movie when-
Me:  That doesn't sound very important to me!
Beckett:  Tricked ya!  Remember in the Transformer movie when...

Germs

Beckett stayed home sick today.  On the way home from picking Spencer up at school, I was asking Spencer what we can do to try to stay healthy.  He said, "Don't cough on people."  I said, "Yeah, what else?"  He said, "JUMP AWAY from people who are coughing!!!"

Ears

I just asked Beckett a question.  He didn't answer.  I asked again.  He still didn't answer.  I said, "Beckett!  You aren't answering my question!"  He said, "Sorry, my ears are turned off right now."

Sharing

Beckett:  Mommy, I had a drink that I was going to share with you, but then I drinked it all.  Sorry.  So, now you can go to the store and buy another bottle for you to drink.

Allergies

Spencer:  There are people who get allergies.
Me:  Yes, you're right.
Spencer:  Like butterflies!
Me: Butterflies get allergies?!
Spencer:  Yep!
Me:  What do you think butterflies are allergic to?!
Spencer:  Winter!  When it gets cold, butterflies get allergies and die!

Mind reader

The logic of a 4 year old: "But, Mommy! I want you to know what I want you to get for me without me having to tell you what I want!"

Skinned knees

Beckett has come home with a skinned up knee three different days this week.  The first two days, he told me that he fell on the way back to daycare from the park.  On Friday when I asked how he skinned his knee AGAIN, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "I just fall down every day now..." 

The Sky is Falling!

The boys take turns carrying the mail to the house.  Today Beckett was the "mail man".  I handed him the mail from the mailbox and he started off to the house.  After a few steps, some mail fell to the ground.  I said, 'Beckett, you just dropped some of the mail!"  He looked at the mail on the ground, looked at the mail still in his hands, looked back at the ground, and said, "I don't think that mail is from me.  I think it dropped from the sky..."

Making the bed

On Monday, the boys started their new chore charts. One of their chores is to make their beds. Ever since, Spencer has refused to sleep under his covers because he doesn't want his bed to be un-made. Ever.

Rhyming Clothes

I told Beckett to go get some clothes this morning.  I went upstairs to check on him a few minutes later, and found him still in his jammies with a pair of shorts on the floor.

Me:  Beckett, did you find some clothes?
Beckett:  I found these shorts, but I can't find any shirts that rhyme with them!
Me:  Did you say rhyme with them?
Beckett:  Yes!  I can't find any shirts that rhyme!
Me:  Do you mean you can't find any shirts that match?
Beckett:  Oh yeah... that's it.

Plants and Trees

Beckett:  Plants are trees!
Me:  Well, trees are plants, but not all plants are trees.  Like dandelions-- they are plants, but they are not trees.
Beckett:  Dandelions are not trees to people, but they are trees to ANTS!

Frozen Pizza

Me:  What should we have to eat?  How about frozen pizza?
Beckett:  NO!  I don't want FROZEN pizza!  I want it HOT!

Kickboxing Kangaroo

Spencer just told me that he stuffed a grocery sack into the trash just like a "kickboxing kangaroo shoves a dingo down underwater."

Beckett just told me that when he was a baby, he was trying to say "na na", but what actually came out was "Transformers, more than meets the eye! Decepticons go GO!"

Who's We?

Beckett was telling me about how much fun he had playing in the water at daycare this afternoon.  He said, "And, we splashed!"  I said, "Who's we?"  He paused for a second and said, "There is no one named 'We' at daycare!" 

Booty

Beckett and Spencer were paying Kinect Joy Ride this afternoon.  Beckett said that his car was a "booty car".  I asked him why he called it that, and he said it was because it has a booty.  So, I asked, "What's a booty?"  Beckett said, "You know, the body part that toots!"

Hawaii?

Today, Spencer went on a field trip to a water park with his daycare friends.  When I picked him up, I told him to tell me about his day.  He said:

"First, I was playing with the Legos.  Then, my teacher told me to get changed into my swimming trunks.  Then, we got on the bus and drove to HAWAII!"

Me:  "Hawaii?  Are you sure?!"

Spencer:  "Yes!  Hawaii!!"

Me:  "Was it MAHONEY instead?"

Spencer:  "Oh yeah.  It was that..."

Secret Agent

Spencer and Beckett were being secret agents.  Beckett was Agent Jumpy B, because he likes to jump.  Spencer was Agent Skippy S, because he likes to skip.  After a while, Spencer said, "Mom?  Agent Skippy S is too long.  You can just call me A-S-S for short!"

The Boss

Spencer:  Beckett is not the boss at this house.
Beckett:  But, I just THINK I'm the boss!

Helping

Me:  Beckett, I need you to help me so that we can be ready to go camping soon!
Beckett:  I want to help by sitting here and eating grapes.

Real breakfast

Spencer just told me, "Mom!  I am NOT eating these Cheerios just for fun!  I'm eating them for my real breakfast!" 

I'm ignoring you!

Beckett came up to me and said,  "Mom, Spencer is in the bedroom.  He won't let me in there with him and he won't come out."

I replied, "You should just ignore him.  He'll get bored and come out to see what you're doing."

Beckett said, "Okay!"

Then, he walks over to the bedroom door, lays down on the floor, and yells through the crack at the bottom, "I'm ignoring you!  Spencer!  I'm ignoring you!!"

God

At church on Sunday, the prayers were getting a little long and Beckett was getting wiggly on my lap, so I whispered in his ear, "Prayers are when we talk to God.  Do you have anything you want to say to God right now?"  He glanced around the room, leaned right up to my face with his eyes as big as saucers, and whispered, "Where is he sitting?!"

Chicken

Beckett:  Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me:  To get to the other side?
Beckett:  No.  Because he needed the freaking exercise!

The trash man

Beckett and I were walking up the street when the garbage man stopped and picked up the garbage that was on the curb.  We stopped so that Beckett could see how the garbage truck crushes the garbage.  Then, we continued walking.  About half a block away, Beckett stopped and said, "You know that garbage truck guy that we just saw?"  I said, "Yeah?"  He said, "He's a good man!"

Good bye!

Saying goodbye in the morning has turned into a 10 minute production with Beckett.  It goes something like this:

Me:  Okay, I have to go now.  I'll see you guys later.  Have a good day! 
Beckett:  Love you, bye, mommy. 
Me:  Love you, bye!
Beckett:  And, have a good day!
Me:  Okay, I will buddy!
Beckett:  And, don't forget to teach your third graders today!
Me:  Okay, I won't!  See you later!  *walks outside*
Beckett:  *opens front door and yells* But, Mommy, don't forget to drive the cool new car because it's yours!
Me:  I won't!  Bye, buddy!
Beckett:  And, Mommy, if you are thirsty, have a drink of water!
Me:  Okay, Beckett.  I have to go now.
Beckett:  Okay, bye!  *waves hand frantically*
Me:  *waves back and hops in car as fast as possible so that he doesn't say anything else*

Like Father Like Son

I was making PB&J's for the boys.  Beckett got out the grape jelly, but Spencer wanted strawberry.  So, I told him to go get it.  He went to the fridge, but came back and said there wasn't any strawberry jelly in there.  I asked, "Did you look for real or did you just look like your dad does?"

He said, "What?"

I said, "Your dad 'looks' in the fridge by opening the door, but if the item isn't right there in front for him to see, he stops looking and insists we are 'out' of whatever he's looking for.  So, did you really look or just look like your dad?" 

Spencer said, "Uhhh...", went back to the fridge, and found the strawberry jelly behind a few other things.

Sorry

Spencer accidentally spilled Beckett's bottle of water in the van tonight.  Spencer told him sorry, but Beckett was still mad about the situation.  So, I said, "Beckett, when someone tells you that they are sorry, you should say, 'It's okay, I forgive you.'  So, do you have something to tell Spencer?"  He said, "Spencer, sorry doesn't cut it!!!"

Water

In the bathroom at the bowling alley, Spencer says:
Mom, do you know how I can tell which is the hot water and which is the cold?  Because this one (points to the cold) has a blue circle, like the sea.  And, this one (points to the hot) has a red circle like HOT LAVA!

24 funs!

Me:  Hey Beckett, did you tell Spencer how much fun you had at Taylor's birthday party?
Beckett:  Spencer!  I had TWENTY FOUR funs at Taylor's party!
Spencer:  *sigh*  Beckett, that doesn't even make any sense.

Ninja!

On our way home from Omaha today, a man riding a motorcycle and wearing a camo jacket was in the lane beside us. 
Spencer asked, "Mom, is that an Army guy?!"
I replied, "Hm.. I'm not sure.  But maybe..."
Beckett piped up, "I don't think that he is an Army guy.  I think that he is a NINJA!"

Shopping with Beckett Round Two

Remember last time I took Beckett shopping?  How he told me I looked "fab-lee-us" when I tried on a pair of pants?  Well, I took him with me to Old Navy today.  I was trying on a pair of khaki pants when he looked at me and said, "Mommy?  Do you think those pants are too tight?!"

Yeah, buddy, I do.  I don't need you to tell me, too.  ;)

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire....

Spencer and Beckett are sitting on a living room chair in their undies (because that's how they roll most of the time when we're at home) watching a movie.  Spencer is wearing socks.  Beckett isn't. 

Spencer says, "LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!" to Beckett. 

Beckett replies, "My pants aren't on f-- HEY I'M NOT EVEN WEARING PANTS!  They can't be on FIRE!!"

Beckett then eyes Spencer up and down for a minute and says, "YOU'RE a liar, liar, SOCKS on fire!"

Library

Spencer, on today's library class:  "Shea wanted to check out the Transformer book, but I found it first!  But, Shea has been searching for it for YEARS, so I let him check it out."

Dogs

Beckett just informed me that dogs can catch birds and rip open their hearts and eat their brains because dogs are really, really mean to birds. 

Tiny Little Toilet

Beckett just told me that he wants a tiny little toilet for Christmas so that he can give it to a mouse.  LOL!  Where in the heck does he come up with these things?!

Lobster

This story is a blast from the past, but It doesn't seem like I ever blogged about it.

Beckett came downstairs when he was supposed to be sleeping.  He was crying.  I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that there was a lobster in his bed.  I said, "A lobster?  In your bed?!"  He said, "Yes!  It was a gray lobster with a hand that does this (he opened and closed his hand like a lobster claw)."  So, I took the stuffed animals and the blanket off of his bed to look for the alleged lobster.  There was nothing in his bed.  He looked up at me, still very concerned, and asked, "Did Daddy take the lobster to the trash?!"  I said, "Yes, buddy, he did.  The lobster is gone."

The Truth

Me:  Beckett, it's time to go to bed with the big hand is on the 12.
Beckett:  No, the 6.
Me:  No, that's too late.  You have to go when it's on the 12.
Beckett:  No, Mom!  I am the truth!

Get it right, Mom!

I handed something to Beckett tonight and said, "Here you go, my baby-o!" He looked offended and said, "I'm NOT your baby-o. I'm your SON."

Fab-lee-us!

Beckett and I went to Target today (I had the day off, but Spencer didn't).  I tried on a pair of pants, and Beckett said, "Mommy!  You look fab-lee-us!"  I decided I should take him shopping with me more often!  LOL!

Random Questions

Beckett asks me the most random questions when I'm lying in bed with him. Tonight's questions included: Why do people eat breakfast? What kind of cars do doctors drive? And, my personal favorite, why do we have neck bones?

Say what?!

Add this one to the things-I-never-thought-I'd-have-to-say list:

"Spencer! If you put ketchup on your toes again, you're going to time out!"

Hilarious Song from Spencer